Family Hearing Center

"He hears what he wants to hear!" Right? Wrong. People usually hear what they can hear. The appearance of selective hearing is a frequent symptom of hearing loss. Selective hearing is generally an issue of a defective ear, not disinterest, laziness, or rudeness. Hearing certain things but not others is less often a matter of choice and more often the result of a biological condition-that of sensorineural hearing loss in which the hearing nerves are damaged.

 

When people are hard of hearing, there are holes in the words they hear. They hear parts of the word but not the whole word, so they get it wrong or end up asking for repetition over and over. Sometimes they seem to hear perfectly and other times misunderstand completely. And they often don't know what they do not hear. After all, if you don't hear it in the first place, how do you know that you did not hear it?

 

For example, a hard of hearing person may hear, "ere you u my oes?" when you really said, "Where'd you put my shoes?" Or a person may hear, "I ough you romis i be here by i," when what you said was, "I thought you promised it'd be here by six."

 

Hearing loss can do strange things to what a person can hear and cannot hear. Sometimes, sounds which seem very soft can be heard by a hard of hearing person but other sounds which seem quite loud (even to a normally hearing person) cannot be heard at all. This may make the individual appear to be interested in hearing only certain things, hence the term selective hearing. It happens because people experience hearing loss that is more severe at certain frequencies or pitches than others. For example, one hard of hearing person can hear the soft click (a high pitch) before her clock radio alarm gees off, but cannot hear the loud buzz of the alarm (a low pitch). Another person can hear a far away airplane before anyone else in the office (a low pitch) but cannot hear the soft jingle (a high pitch) of coins in his pocket.

 

These complexities of hearing loss cause people who are hard of hearing to say, "I hear but I don't understand." Family and friends of the person who is hard of hearing say, "He hears what he wants to hear," or "I never know if she hears me or not." These statements result from confusion and misinformation about hearing loss and tend to create the climate for frustration, anger, poor work performance, guilt, isolation, and sometimes broken relationships.

 

Individuals may be the last to know they are experiencing a hearing loss. When a hearing loss begins, it is often noticed by family or friends first and may be mistaken for other problems such as not caring, disinterest, or loss of mental sharp-ness. Accusing someone of having selective hearing can be quite hurtful. Pointing out to the person that the appearance of selective hearing is often a symptom of hearing loss and urging them to see an audiologist would be more helpful. When someone seems to have "selective hearing," it is time for that person to get a hearing test!

 

 Courtesy of Interactive Therapeutics, Inc.